So, this is what the world has come to. It's 2017. And I am reviewing a film titled The Emoji Movie, about - you guessed it - emojis. Oh joy.

After the surprise success of 2014's The Lego Movie, I held back any apprehensions and judgement I may have had towards a film called The Emoji Movie, given that it could have surprised us all and turned out pretty good. Nope. Not at all. Sadly, this isn't anything like The Lego Movie. That was actually a very entertaining and well-made film. The Emoji Movie, however, is the complete opposite. A movie is a form of art and expression; a story with characters and substance. The Emoji Movie is anything but. Our eyes into this film are Gene (T.J Miller) - a Meh emoji - that lives, alongside the other emojis, in Textopolis, within The Smartphone. However, when Meh makes the wrong face being sent out into a text, he embarks on a journey of self-discovery - alongside Hi-5 (James Corden) and Jailbreak (Anna Faris).
The story for The Emoji Movie is basically ripping off Wreck-It Ralph and Inside Out - both animated films which were actually good - and is about as conventional and predictable as you'd expect from a film titled "The Emoji Movie". The writing is atrocious. For starters, there is no comedy. It's all such low-brow, juvenile humour - poop and fart jokes and the like - yet it just comes across as awkward and try-hard. The dialogue is terrible too, so awfully contrived and nonsensical; the three talent-less slobs behind the writing of this film try to seem "hip" and "cool", showing their knowledge of the millennial obsession with smartphones by throwing in all the Internet terminology they can but it's so forced and painful - they clearly don't have a clue about technology or emojis or anything to do with this film or what they're writing on in the slightest and it's just embarrassing. The narrative itself is so weak and stilted that a few different subplots have been thrown in too - none of which work - and devoid of any emotion or heart or charisma or noble message for the youngsters. Really, all this film does is act as a platform for a plethora of product placements - all of which are so clearly forced into the script (or lack thereof) and so abundantly pointless. The characters are all one-dimensional too. And, yes, The Emoji Movie may boast a stellar cast but, if anything, I think it just shows everyone that was desperately in need of a payday.

I can't bear to continue talking about this mess. Even the aesthetic and the animation is lazy - so bland and simple and visually repulsive. There is nothing redeeming about The Emoji Movie. It is a blatant cash-grab and, given that there are no other good animated films out currently this Summer, this film will make a fair bit of dough at the box-office because all the kids will be getting their parents out to take them to see it and that is a genuine tragedy. But, just because it is a kids film doesn't mean it needs to be so dumb and lazy - just look at Pixar or Studio Ghibli, both who have mastered the craft of telling genius stories on such an accessible scale and to such monumental acclaim and success. Clearly, the team behind this just have no talent or brains or morals whatsoever. It's disgraceful work and embarrassing for their filmography. The Emoji Movie is offensive. It's unfunny, painfully boring, remarkably dumb, infuriating, pointless, unnecessary, lazy, atrociously written and just utterly awful. There is nothing redeeming about it. The film has a short run-time of just under 90-minutes and it still drags on forever. How can a film be so bad?

The Emoji Movie is utter shit and, undoubtedly, one of the worst animated films ever made.

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About the Author

Awais Irfan
Founder of Oasis Awais, and avid lover of life, Awais Irfan's love of writing and film is unequivocal. Ever since he was a little kid, he has loved the cinematic experience; so much so, he is studying Film Production in Glasgow and hopes to be the next "big thing" in directing.

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