Hollywood have had a pretty bad track record when it comes to making film adaptions of hit video games - Max Payne, Prince of Persia and Super Mario to name a few. This year welcomes in yet another, Hitman: Agent 47 (we got a previous Hitman film in 2007) but can it buck the bad trend?

No, it can't is the answer. This is a bad film. Fox first tried to adapt the hit video game series back in 2007 but the film was critically slammed because of how bad it was. It didn't work. However, it seems as though the studio didn't learn their lesson because not only do we another attempt at adapting the video game into a film that no one wants to see, but it's just as bad as the last endeavour - if not worst. It's a pretty similar situation to what Fox has done with the Fantastic Four franchise. They just don't understand that some films should remain buried for a reason.

Playing our titular Hitman this time around is Rupert Friend. When an evil organisation wants to unlock the secret to what makes him so elite and badass and special, to create an army of killers - just as powerful as Agent 47 - for themselves, he must team up with the young and mysterious Katia (Hannah Ware). Holding the secret to unlocking Agent 47's assassin powers, she must team with the man that almost killed her to face all odds and prevent John Smith (Zachary Quinto), an agent working for the company after 47, from getting his hands on the secret and harvesting the powers contained within his (and Katia's) DNA.

Honestly, it's a pretty bloated plot. There's nothing to it. From start to finish, Hitman: Agent 47 is a convoluted mess. There is no coherence to the story whatsoever, it's all over the place and this is largely down to the fact that the screenplay for this film is so atrocious. The 2007 Hitman film was so bad because of the script, which was penned by the untalented Skip Woods, but rather than hire someone who can actually write, he has been brought in for this film too so, yet again, the script is horrible here. The dialogue is ropey and dour and the characters are all so bland and one-dimensional and unlikeable and there's no attachment to anyone because of how badly they have been written. The plot is is convoluted and messy and frustratingly dumb; in fact, there's hardly even a plot because there's hardly even a script because the writing is so terrible!

Not even the pretty decent cast can save this film. The performances all fall flat and it's as of no one could be bothered even somewhat trying to liven up their characters. Friend is not at all believable as our eponymous character here, looking so ridiculous in the Hitman getup that it's almost satirical. Quinto is an awful antagonist and you never feel he poses a threat and Hannah Ware is wasted too as a weak, feeble female lead. Everyone gives such a bad performance and there is no charisma or energy or chemistry between anyone. The dialogue between these characters is just as bad too, so cringe-worthy and just dumb - very mawkishly written. Nothing works just because of how you don't give a shit for anyone in this film, not even remotely.

If there's one element in which Agent 47 isn't all that disastrous, it's the action. This is a film based on a video game that is renowned for its action and, at least, I can say that those sequences were done well - as if they could have come straight from the game itself. The scenes were shot so well and even entertained at times. Sure, it was your typical, Hollywood, big-budget fare but it was fun to watch and nice to look at. In fact, this whole film was nice to look at; the cinematography was slick and glossy and it's a well-shot piece of film. It was visually good but, unfortunately, that's not enough to carry the fim since it faltered in every other aspect. The drama was not there. Nothing was. It was tedious, convoluted and deadpan at best.

VERDICT:
Looks like we still have some time to wait until that good video game adaption because Hitman: Agent 47 clearly isn't it.
★★☆☆☆

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About the Author

Awais Irfan
Founder of Oasis Awais, and avid lover of life, Awais Irfan's love of writing and film is unequivocal. Ever since he was a little kid, he has loved the cinematic experience; so much so, he is studying Film Production in Glasgow and hopes to be the next "big thing" in directing.

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