Watching The Boy Next Door, it quickly becomes clear that the curtain has fallen on award season and its flurry of fabulous films in the toll of the new year, evident by the lacklustre of this dull pic.

The film revolves around Jennifer Lopez's English teacher Claire Peterson, following her divorce with her cheating ex-husband. When a young, good-looking teen Noah (Ryan Guzman) moves into the neighbourhood, Claire - desperate for some love again - loses herself a little and, mesmerised by this boy and his charisma, gets a little bit too lively and crazy when he gives the lonely, heartbroken Claire a bit of company.

However, after some innocent flirting and time together, the high-school tutor realises that it's time to get back into the real world but ends up facing a problem when she finds out that she may have gotten into a bit of a situation with the wrong guy when Noah is reluctant to let go of her so easily. Soon things are quickly out of hand when the boy next door just can't learn to leave her alone and getting rid of him is harder than it, at first, seemed.

I'll be honest, there's not much to say about this film here. This is going to be a short review because it doesn't take long to explain that this film is shit. Excuse my language there but it's the truth. There's no denying that Robert Cohen's latest is just a dreadful, disastrous atrocity to cinema. It's God awful, honestly. Everything about it just doesn't work. It's actually a tedious task to pick out all the various and may flaws of this. The dialogue is sloppy, the story is so weak and there's just no substance to this. It's actually so bad and embarrassing that it becomes funny. You laugh to fill the awkwardness this creates.

As far as the acting goes, I've lost all respect for J-Lo and Guzman. Their characters are terrible and the performances given, even more so. There's no personality or depth to these characters. They are, genuinely, dumb and the dialogue that comes out of their mouthes is just stupid and cringe-worthy. Also, Guzman plays a 19 year old in this. He doesn't look the age and he doesn't act the age and the facade doesn't work. Let's not even start on Lopez. What is she doing here? She's so misplaced in this and her name is purely here to bring in audiences. They don't care so we don't either.

If I'm to find a plus in this film it's the fact that you can spend your £5.90 for your cinema ticket and, whilst the film is one of the worst of the year, so far, you will revel and savour the glory that is this film's comedic side (and there isn't supposed to be one) because if there's any chance of this garbage entertaining, it's through the fact that it's so awful that it's bloody hilarious. You laugh at how bad a job has been done with this and you laugh at the fact that the talent in this have stopped so low. 

The Boy Next Door is so bloody awful that it's actually sad how bad it is. Sorry, Lopez but we're not laughing with you, we're laughing at you.
★☆☆☆

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Awais Irfan
Founder of Oasis Awais, and avid lover of life, Awais Irfan's love of writing and film is unequivocal. Ever since he was a little kid, he has loved the cinematic experience; so much so, he is studying Film Production in Glasgow and hopes to be the next "big thing" in directing.

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